Monster Hunter

Released: December 18, 2020
Watched: February 26, 2021

“To kill a monster, you need a monster.”

That quote? Sadly the best line in the movie. There is not a lot to work with here.

Despite clocking in at 103 minutes, the movie is 20 minutes too long. The script is simultaneously too superficial and too expositional. Too much time is wasted on soldiers who just end up being monster fodder and the “antagonistic partners squabble until they learn to work together” trope. Ron Perlman is absolutely wasted here (although the ending is an obvious sequel hook so maybe he will have more to do if a sequel is made).

The cinematography is a hot mess. The long-sweeping landscape establishing shots are beautiful, but the action scenes are just confused jumble of frenetic shots. One thousand quick shots does not a thrilling action scene make. I don’t need to see a punch from 4 different angles followed by a throw from 3 angles. There is no substitute for good tight fight choreography. Hire a good choreographer and stunt people and you won’t have to compensate for boring fight scenes.

Keep your expectations low. With any luck, maybe you’ll find this movie fun to MST3K, ridiculing details like fire arrows doing more damage than a RPG.

How to reinforce casual sexism in movies: make the man carry everything and *still* run faster than the woman.

Milla Jovovich is the ONLY reason Monster Hunter is barely watchable.

I am loving that there are more and more movies showcasing women “of a certain age” kicking ass and taking names.

I’d love to see an female-driven ensemble action movie a la The Expendables starring women in their 40s-60s just being badasses. Imagine the potential cast: Sandra Bullock. Jamie Lee Curtis. Danai Gurira. Taraji P. Henson. Milla Jovovich. Charlize Theron. Ming-Na Wen. Michelle Yeoh. Linda Hamilton/Sigourney Weaver in some kind of head honcho role honoring their legacy as OG badass women.


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